Sunday, October 3, 2010

More talk of rest

I'm tired. Yesterday I realized just how tired I am when I looked in the mirror and barely recognized the face staring back at me, at which point I had my first real "oh f*$%, I'm aging" moment. Now I realize that those of you who know me are probably scoffing at this; I am blessed with great skin, I look years younger than my age and I ALWAYS get carded. All the more reason I was shocked to see the effects of too much sun and fatigue so visibly displayed on my face.

I'm fairly certain that all my moving around is starting to catch up with me. Since the end of June, I've put nearly 7,500 miles on my car (my Honda Civic has been good to me) as I travel from place to place on my nomadic journey. These last few months, however, are only a fast-forward version of the last several years of my life. I can't recall the last time I had a true "home"-- meaning a place from which I didn't have a scheduled departure two weeks, six months, a year from the move-in date. Save the two suitcases, a yoga mat and a stuffed dog that currently reside in my car, my life-- or rather, the belongings I refuse to part with, namely designer shoes, handbags and clothing-- is packed away in boxes in three different cities. One of those cities is across the Atlantic.

While I'm very much enjoying the ride and excited about dreams of returning to Europe and spending time in the South Pacific, I'm starting to realize just how badly I need a place to call home. Not a place to stay forever; not "the" place, from which I'll never move again. Simply a place that serves as a base, with a bed I can call my own. A place that reflects me. A place where I can unpack my shoe collection and leave it nicely displayed amidst other chaos in a big, disorganized closet when I travel elsewhere for months at a time.

For now, as I continue my search, I'm grateful for the many temporary homes I've been offered and for the chance to stay in one place longer than a week. I can only hope that the dark circles under my eyes will start to dissipate once I get used to the bed I'll be occupying...

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